LOS ANGELES, CA – City streets are dangerous enough as it is, without having to defend yourself against a wild mountain lion. If you should encounter one, remember these four handy tips:
Moonwalk away slowly.
Throw ya hands in the air like ya just don’t care.
Offer a small child.
If attacked, talk some smack.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Our legal department stringently advises us that one should not actually offer a small child, or anyone for that matter, to a mountain lion. In any case, if you are ever accosted by a mountain lion and have video of yourself moonwalking or smack-talking out of the situation, please contact us immediately.