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Advanced candle for busy professionals burns four ends

HOUSTON, TX – Burning a candle at both ends is so 20th Century. Today’s overworked corporate types need a couple of extra ends to burn, because they’re taking the world by the tail!

Amateurs out there talk about redoubling their efforts. How about requadrupling your efforts? You don’t have time to mess around with mere multitasking. You’re into megatasking. No such thing as too much going on.

Sleep is for sissies. Downtime is for dummies. Leisure is for losers. Work is for winners!

Hypertension? More like HYPE-ertension, am I right? Migraines are for the brain what calluses are for the worker’s hands. One heart attack? Pssssh. Keep up.

This message is sponsored by your employer’s parent company, which is preparing another round of right-sizing. If you are still employed next Monday, you will find that your responsibilities have expanded to cover those of a few former coworkers.

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