HOT NEWS

Space Shuttle Repossessed

March 3, 2008

KENNEDY SPACE CENTER, FL – NASA Adminstrators were stunned Monday evening when a massive tow truck hauled away Space Shuttle Endeavour. “It’s not what it

This Day in History: Pony Express “when it absolutely, positively has to be there in about a fortnight”

January 30, 2008

ST. JOSEPH, MO – The first speedy transcontinental mail service in the United States offered an economy option this day in 1861. Pony Express —

May 6, 1937: Led Zeppelin album photo shoot held in New Jersey

May 6, 2008

MANCHESTER TOWNSHIP, NJ – In a remarkable feat of foresight, a photographer captured this image of the unfolding Hindenburg Disaster that would be used over

Comedy writers taking refuge in politics

January 19, 2016

WASHINGTON DC – Frustrated that real life increasingly negates the function of satire, humorists are taking their craft to the world of politics. “Voters have

Spielberg to direct 10 minute biopic on William Henry Harrison presidency

April 28, 2015

HOLLYWOOD – Director Steven Spielberg is set to direct another presidential biopic like 2012’s Lincoln, this one a short film about the shortest presidency in

Posts published in “LITERATURE”

Second half of article plagiarizes first half

Second half of article plagiarizes first half

By Arthur Freipasesz on August 25, 2008 |

JOURNALISM and LITERATURE

SCRAPERTON – The first half of a blog post written by one author was copied and reprinted in whole as the second half by the…

“Left Alone” series chronicles life after Rapture people disappear

“Left Alone” series chronicles life after Rapture people disappear

By Arthur Freipasesz on April 19, 2008 |

LITERATURE, LIVING and PARANORMAL

LAS VEGAS – A new series of novels depicts the world after a pre-tribulation rapture, in which righteous evangelical believers are swept from the planet…

What is a haiku?

What is a haiku?

By Arthur Freipasesz on January 10, 2008 |

ARTS and LITERATURE

what is a haiku? Japanese form of poem kinda looks like this

LETTERS

You blew out the candles at my 7th birthday and I haven’t forgotten, James

Dear Editors, It’s been 41 years, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about my birthday cake at Ferrell’s. James from apartment

You can skip all you want, but sooner or later you are going to try YouTube Premium.

Dear Editors, You can resist, but you certainly cannot avoid us forever. Come on. Click on the 7-day trial. Where else you gonna go, Vimeo?

The editors have lost their damn minds

Dear Editors, Yeah, you. You have lost your damn minds. You have all gone completely bonkers and dropped a wheel. Y’all got a whole bunch

2 BR Apartment with great view of exhibitionists’ living room

$2030/mo. Lower Uptown area – beautifully remodeled apartment on 4th floor with controlled access, washer/dryer, creek/trail nearby, Nest thermostat, stainless steel appliances, great view of

Homegrown Corn

Available one ear at a time on a flexible schedule. Accepting orders for 4 months out. $15/ear. Must be okay with cigarette butts and possible

Great business opportunity! Totally not a pyramid scheme

You can make up to $2,000, $3,000, or more every month out of your living room without lifting a finger! You would have to buy

CHART: Effectiveness of Disinfectant

Imaginary fight erupts over parking space

MITTYVILLE – A knock-down drag-out brawl broke out in the imagination of motorist Dave Van Bronks over the perceived theft of a parking space. Van

New stamp to commemorate letters

FRANKLIN – The U.S. Postal Service announced a new stamp commemorating the writing and sending of letters, a nearly forgotten practice dating back centuries. “The

Homeschooled teenage boy caught with stack of evolution magazines

HOVINDA – A mother caught her 15-year-old boy Tuesday with dozens of publications that describe in explicit detail the theoretical framework of evolution. The unnamed

Album of the Day: Alanis Morissette, “Jagged Little Bill”

All the news that fits

The Post News Times, A wholly owned subsidiary of JankyVision International, is the greater metro area’s premiere reporting authority on ersatz, superfluous and/or sardonic news. Our copy desk features a weaponized thesaurus.

Contact

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Parking Level P2
Blue 2008 Tempo
JankyVision Tower
Denver, CO 80210
(800) JK5-NULL
[email protected]
@jankyvision

EDITORIALS

Something Must Be Done.

As a matter of fact, I was raised in a barn

I don’t hate you, I just want you out of my way.

REVIEWS

Art Review: “Resplendence In Equanimity” By Chuck “Charley” Charles – Coffee On Packing Paper, 2019

“A Spoon From Home” in Hardcover is Hard to Keep Open

“Vampire Cop” [insert review summary here]

In the Store

My First Tactical Nuke

Towel Drying Accelerant

Vintage Chemistry Set

Mystery Pharmaceuticals

Space Shuttle Repossessed

This Day in History: Pony Express “when it absolutely, positively has to be there in about a fortnight”

May 6, 1937: Led Zeppelin album photo shoot held in New Jersey

Comedy writers taking refuge in politics

Spielberg to direct 10 minute biopic on William Henry Harrison presidency

Posts published in “LITERATURE”

Second half of article plagiarizes first half

“Left Alone” series chronicles life after Rapture people disappear

What is a haiku?

LETTERS

You blew out the candles at my 7th birthday and I haven’t forgotten, James

You can skip all you want, but sooner or later you are going to try YouTube Premium.

The editors have lost their damn minds

CLASSIFIEDS

2 BR Apartment with great view of exhibitionists’ living room

Homegrown Corn

Great business opportunity! Totally not a pyramid scheme

CHART: Effectiveness of Disinfectant

Imaginary fight erupts over parking space

New stamp to commemorate letters

Homeschooled teenage boy caught with stack of evolution magazines

Album of the Day: Alanis Morissette, “Jagged Little Bill”

All the news that fits

Contact

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