BUENA VISTA, AZ – A practitioner of extra-sensory perception (ESP) has gained the ability to see events in the future, as verified by university scientists this week. However, so far he has only been able to view events in an unoccupied, overgrown parking lot.
“I can tell you what’s going on in that area for months or years to come,” said Louis Nalchant, a novice prognosticator. “As of this last reading, that’s not much.”
Nalchant plans to continue viewing the future of the lot, and has promised to alert the media if anything will eventually happen there.