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Curds and whey futures plummet on spider scare

DENSLOW – Trading in futures of curds and whey took a whipping today after a report linking them to arachnophobia.

“This appears to be an isolated incident, but we are investigating an alleged spider attack,” said Arnuth Reynolds of the Curds & Whey Manufacturers Collective.

“Reportedly, one of our valued customers was enjoying some curds and whey when a spider approached her. She ran away, but I wish to stress that there is no connection to her choice of food.”

Trading on curds and whey halted temporarily, before resuming and sinking by almost 32% to finish the day below $10.

Reynolds assured investors that the CWMC would issue a full report once the investigation concludes.

In a related story, Tuffet Industries remained stable, gaining a few cents to end at $7.14.

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