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Earth to occupants: I’ll be fine. You, not so much

EARTH – The planet on which every known organism lives sent an open letter to all of them today, assuring that it would prevail despite our concerns.

“I really appreciate your initiatives to ‘save the planet’, but it’s simply not necessary,” said Earth. “Whatever the outcome of this whole climate thing, I will do alright.”

“Your individual plight as residents on my surface, however, is another story. Argue all you want, it doesn’t make any difference to me. To be honest, I wouldn’t miss you at all. I am simply a globe of rock and iron, and sentimentality has never been my strong suit.”

The planet Earth, which is the third from the sun and the only one known so far that has ever hosted life, claims to have only two fears: collisions with massive objects like moon-size asteroids, and eventual consumption by an expanding, dying sun in a few billion years.

One Comment

  1. Anonymous Anonymous June 3, 2008

    I always knew you were molten to the core.

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