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Earthworms up all night from coffee in compost

ANNELIDOPOLIS – A community of worms has been in a constant state of sleeplessness since nearby residents began adding coffee grounds to their compost pile.

Few incidents were reported, and no noise complaints have been registered at all since the introduction of coffee.

“Most of us think of ourselves as nightcrawlers anyway, so it’s not that big a change,” said spokesworm Jim Vermi. “If you look at the big picture, we probably spared ourselves from the proverbial early bird by sleeping in late.”

Minor disruptions at local earthworm clubs amounted to a few arrests, but most charges were dropped.

“Just hopped-up worms talking incessantly about worm stuff, no harm done,” said police chief Dirk Wiggler. “Better to get them back in the dirt where they can do their thing. Just stay away from the devil bean. Maybe they’ll be more cautious where they dig now.”

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