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It’s dangle. Berries don’t dingle.

Guest Editorial by Captain Lou

We need to talk about wording.

Being a large, shaggy breed of dog, I am all too familiar with the difficulties of, shall we say, making use of the outdoor facilities.

We don’t have access to toilet paper or opposable thumbs, so it’s just a part of the bargain that there are sometimes remnants of the process. I’ll be frank here; occasionally there are things that should be left behind but they remain with us.

I’m talking about dangleberries.

I do apologize for dragging the discourse down to this level with such a subject. Almost nobody likes them, and they are without exception unintentional. But that is not the purpose of this discussion.

I want to impress upon you to stop using the term “dingleberry” to describe this phenomenon. Berries do not dingle. It might be perfectly apropos to call a foolish or inept person a dingleberry, but for the love of authentic vocabulary can we agree to call a dangleberry by its proper name?

Language mutates and adapts over time. I understand and accept that, but the next time your big shaggy dog brings home a stowaway, please consider – even if only silently to yourself – thinking of the correct nomenclature.

Captain Lou is a squirrel enthusiast, a graduate student in linguistic studies at Labrador College, and a good boy.

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