WASHINGTON DC – The grouping of protons and neutrons at the center of every atom has been renamed “nuculus” in favor of its harder-to-pronounce former name “nucleus”.
This in turn transforms the tongue-twisting adjective “nuclear” into the more speech-friendly “nucular”. The change affects all senses of the word, including atomic energy, cellular biology and core family structure.
“Everyone’s saying it that ways anyhow,” said a U.S. Representative who would not disclose a name. “This law just up and done the peoples’ will.”
The change occurred as part of an appropriations bill over two years ago, and was not discovered until someone actually read the text.
The awkward plural form “nuclei” has also been simplified to “nuculuses”.