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Jimmy crack corn, public apathetic

SOUTH CAROLINA – Authorities investigated the suspicious death of a man on horseback, but evidence and eyewitnesses are proved unproductive.

Various accounts agree that the sting of a blue tail fly initiated the events culminating in the man tumbling into a ditch, and a jury concluded the same. The man was laid to rest beneath a persimmon tree, and survivors came to a consensus that the resolution was all for the best.

Possible interpretations of the incident, especially as it pertains to Jimmy and the cracking of corn, have grown so convoluted that attempts to comprehend its entirety have resulted in collective indifference.

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