If I could have just one damn remote to turn the TV on and watch

Dear Editors,

We are well into the 21st Century and it takes me, no lie, 8 minutes to get the TV on and tuned to any sort of programming.

There’s a remote for the TV, one for the cable box, one for the TV Stick, another for the external speaker, and God help you if you want to get the sound going through only one or the other at a time. The Bluetooth on the TV has to pair with the remote but also with the sound bar. The Bluetooth won’t pair with anything if it’s too close to the router, which was conveniently installed right next to the TV. The Netflix app is on the TV stick so you need that remote to log in but you have to change the HDMI input first, and that’s on the TV remote. The dog has chewed it up. It’s still working, but now you have to go into the basement to get it. Now the battery is missing, so we have to go through a logical assessment of whether the dog might have eaten it.

Fifteen minutes later (this doesn’t accrue to the eight minutes referenced in the first paragraph), we’re back at the remotes basket. We’re on HDMI 2 and ready to begin the TV Stick procedure. SOMEBODY thought they’d go ahead and let it update. Well guess what? It’s not updating. Yeah, we tried restarting it. The app just won’t load. It downloads and pretends to install, but does the same thing three times in a row.

So we end up watching YouTube on the iPad.

Sincerely,
Thomas C.
Hell