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National Guard deployed to allow same-sex wedding to go forward

PAXTON, TX – President Obama sent National Guard troops accompany the wedding of Ellen Turing and Gertrude Buchanan, over the objections of local officials who were trying to prevent it.

Following today’s Supreme Court ruling that made same-sex marriages legal across the United States, countless couples have flocked to courthouses to tie the knot. However, some local governments are not necessarily going along with it, standing in the courthouse door to prevent couples from entering.

Paxton’s Justice of the Peace Myra Trobeck told the commanding officer that allowing two women or two men to marry would lead to people marrying dogs or turtles next.

The officer in charge of deployment responded, “Ma’am, when dogs or turtles successfully gain the right to form binding contracts, we will be here to enforce their rights as well.”

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