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New bin Laden mix tape inexplicably omits Sugarhill Gang

LANGLEY, VA – A new, as yet unauthenticated mix tape from Osama bin Laden purports to be a definitive collection of “old skool hip-hop”, yet fails to mention one of its most influential groups, The Sugarhill Gang.

CIA analysts are hesitant to verify that the tape is genuine, but they were quick to point out this glaring gap in authenticity.

“I’ll hand it to him, this is a decent compilation,” said a senior analyst using the code name ‘Breakbeat’. “Grandmaster Flash, Kool Moe Dee, Fab 5 Freddy… he’s even got some Slick Rick and Run-D.M.C. on here. But how could you not include Sugarhill’s ‘Eighth Wonder’ or ‘Rapper’s Delight’? That just boggles the imagination.”

A number of old school rappers declined comment, saying through a spokesperson only that they denounce any association with terrorism.

Breakbeat believes every bit of information coming in helps with the search for bin Laden. “He keeps slipping up like that, we’re going to catch him.”

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