HILO, HI – Astronomers at the Mauna Kea Observatory have discovered a new, scaly, inflamed planet far from our Solar System and named it Psoriasis, after the Greek god of heartbreak.
The planet is 34 light years away and cannot be seen directly, but we can infer its presence through red patches that surround the area and other systemic effects that flare up.
“It’s an amazing discovery, but you would never want to go there,” said Jon Freling, an amateur astronomer whose team is currently using the telescope without the knowledge or permission of the Mauna Kea facility. “You would be severely uncomfortable.”
The team has also concluded that three moons circle Psoriasis: Eczema, Rosacea and Histamine. They plan to publish a paper on their findings if they can manage to get back to the workstation where their data is stored without being spotted.
“Pretty good work for twenty minutes of observation. We’d hate to lose all of it.”