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Parent tightens toddler sanctions

SPOCKTON – One out of two parents on the Hazel Family Security Council voted to strengthen sanctions against rogue toddler Hayden, age 2.

Older brother and non-voting council member Kyle, Jr. concurred with Resolution 208, which will restrict access to cookies and television if Hayden continues to disregard the “no-touchie zone” established around the entertainment center.

Hayden’s mother Dora proposed the sanctioning and may proceed unilaterally. Father Kyle, Sr. favored continuing talks and perhaps a blockade of the region, but his motion was overturned in committee.

The current action will remain in effect until such time as Hayden can “keep the milk off the cable box,” said Kyle, Jr.

Measures already in place include Resolution 178, a standing time-out order for any incursion onto the bookshelves and a number of stern talkings-to for general misbehavior.

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