ROMERO, PA – Wally Newburgh sat out the most recent zombie uprising because he is only a temp.
“When you call up of vast armies of the undead to consume the brains of the living, you want commitment,” said Zombie Union local president Nick Richards. “Plus, we’ve got liability factors to consider.”
Union bylaws specify that only full-time zombies are covered in official activities. Newburgh said that he briefly considered going out on his own, but he wants to keep things on the level.
“I want to do this by the book. A simple vote could take care of the bylaw requirement,” said Newburgh, who moonlights as a zombie in addition to his job as a tech support specialist. “There’s no reason they couldn’t work out some kind of supplemental coverage.”
Richards said that the steering committee would take the matter under advisement for the next planning session in July, but stopped short of any pledge to hold a vote on the rules.