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Pot Roast Embroiled in Scandal

WELLINGTON – A three pound pot roast found itself in the hot seat today when investigators grilled it for several hours in a searing session.

“We knew the roast had some something really juicy, but it had not been forthcoming,” said Inspector Biff Tecque. “We let it stew in its own pot for a bit, then we’ll see how cooperative it is.”

The roast, which has refused to speak without presence of counsel, remains innocent of any charges until proven guilty or consumed, whichever comes first.

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