BACKLOTTON – The demographically vague bystanders, pedestrians and shopkeepers along Main Street are ready for any madcap onslaught of vehicles in pursuit that might descend upon the town.
“We’ve been developing our reflexes to dodge taxis, motorcycles, tanks and race cars, whatever comes roaring around that corner,” said mayor John Q. Monroe. “I’ve conferred with every plate glass mover, fruit cart owner and scaffolding contractor to properly clear the area surrounding their primary place of business, even if it’s moving.”
Every citizen of Backlotton is trained to get out of the way at the first sign of disturbance.
“You can see the pigeons scattering away from a block or more,” said Monroe. “Even with a caravan of illegal hot rods barreling through, you still have a few seconds to back up to the sidewalk.”
Despite Monroe’s confidence that his town can handle a sudden barrage of convoy trucks chased by a crazed out-of-state sheriff, he worries that the next town over will not be so lucky.
“They’ll just buzz right through here, but Sidelot is riddled with tight, windy streets and tons of live chicken vendors right out on the sidewalk.”