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Red collar crime at historic lows

ASHEVILLE , NC – Incidents of red collar crime are at their lowest levels since record keeping began, according to record keepers.

“Compared to white collar crime, it’s off-the-charts low,” said keeper of records Bruce Aspinall. “We haven’t found a single incident of red collar crime in this entire decade.”

Aspinall provided sources for the data, but not a definition of red collar crime. White collar crime refers to financially motivated crimes of a nonviolent nature, and the less-used term blue collar crime corresponds to what is more commonly called crime.

“To be honest, I don’t even know what they mean by it,” said criminologist Shirley Holmes. “I agree, however, that there is virtually no red collar crime going on. You might want to look a little closer at Bruce’s department, though, and where all that funding is going.”

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