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Two-headed horse suffers fatal constipation

PUYALLUP, WA – A horse with two front ends and no back end has passed away due to complications with its digestive system.

“Poor thing had no way to evacuate its bowels,” said veterinarian Antonia Gasset. “I’m surprised it lived this long, and I’m quite keen to understand how it did.”

The horse, which lived on unincorporated land outside of town, variously went by the names Ulysses and Molasses. Its gender was unknown.

An autopsy has not yet been performed, but Gasset said that the horse’s symptoms were very clearly indicative of intestinal stress from ingested food having nowhere to go. “Not so much a blockage as a dead end,” she said.

One Comment

  1. Editor Editor August 9, 2009

    Note from the Editor on anonymous comment submitted 8/9/09: We couldn't figure out to whom that comment was directed, but we got the message. This is site is intended for general audiences, so we did not publish that particular remark. If you wish to be more specific, perhaps we can publish a future comment. In case it helps, the this image was Photoshopped, and no actual two-headed horses were harmed. The real two-headed horse behind the story had an equine colostomy bag installed. He/they survived, although they still have a tough time deciding which way to go.

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