Earth to occupants: I’ll be fine. You, not so much
EARTH – The planet on which every known organism lives sent an open letter to all of them today, assuring that it would prevail despite
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Whistleblower Receiving Mostly Unimaginative Death Threats
This is a hastily researched developing story and will probably not be updated. If you hear something, holla.
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Online argument resolved with facts
HUDSON, MO – A dispute came to a workable resolution Monday, when the two parties utilized facts available online and assented to their validity. Commenters
Groomba robot shaves while you sleep
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Busy professionals can now automate time-consuming tasks like shaving, thanks to the Groomba shaving robot. “You just place it by the bed,
Passive Solar Energy system approaches 99% efficiency
BOULDER, CO – Solar energy researchers are closing in on a form of solar energy production that surpasses every other method in practice. While limited
Mother’s Day Relaxing Mostly For Non-Mothers
GRAFTON, WV – Mother’s Day, the annual celebration in May for mothers and their influence in society, is often a holiday for all but those
Helium mistakenly sold by weight
NORRISTOWN, NH – Monatomic Sales & Supply is facing a tough new fiscal year following a blunder by former sales associate Hank Rayet, who sold
